Five Former Fatties

Fat loss info from former fatties

Do, or Do Not. There Is No Try. -Yoda


One of the biggest changes that happened to me over the course of becoming Jenn 2.0 has been how well I know myself.  Before I made the change, I was in excuse-making mode. In my head, I was always doing as well as I could, trying as hard as I could try, but obviously I just wasn’t capable of doing what it takes to change my life and lifestyle the way I needed to. How I came to realize that wasn’t the case might make you laugh.

I realized it from watching an episode of Dr. Phil.

You may commence laughing now.

I know, he’s full of pithy homespun wisdom and y’alls. But it’s funny, what he was saying that time happened to be something that made sense to me.

He said to a woman, “You’re not expecting enough from yourself.”  When he said that, I realized he was absolutely right, and that it applied to me.  I was living my life in cruising gear. I had conditioned myself to accept mediocrity without question.

I thought about being 90 someday.  I thought, if I don’t change anything, when I’m 90 and I look back on my life, what will I think of it? And I realized that I would feel regret.  I would think about 37 year old Jenn, and wonder why I gave up. At 90, looking at Jenn at 37, and 40, and 45, and 50, I would wonder what I could have looked like, what I could have done.  I would wonder why I thought 37 was too late, why I thought I was too old to change (at 37!!), why I figured my best days were behind me, and why I spent my life only half alive.  And at 90, I couldn’t change it.  At 90, I would feel regret.

And then I thought, I’m not 90 years old. I’m 37.

I have time now.

I have time to live my life at 100% effort. I have time to see  how strong I can be.  I have time to see what I look like in a bikini, to dance, to run and bike and  climb and do whatever I want to do. To live my life in a way that I will look back and think “Well done, Jenn. Well done.”

I decided that I won’t live the rest of my life at half-effort, and regret it at the end when it’s too late.

Today, most times I don’t leave the gym until I’m lying on the floor soaked in sweat and barely moving. If I have anything left, I do more.  I give everything.  If I’m sick or injured, I give myself some slack and treat myself with kindness, but won’t use it as an excuse. That’s the difference between Now Me and Before Me.  I give everything I have, and not only at the gym, but in the rest of my life too.

I won’t die someday never knowing what I could have been if I’d only really tried. I won’t live, or die, with regret.  I’m 41 years old. And I’m the most kick-ass 41 year old I can possibly be.  I’m the me I want to be.

Are you?

Posted in Jenn by Jenn on February 16th, 2012 at 10:52 pm.


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2 Replies

  1. No I’m not!! But I’m gonna be DAMNIT!!